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The Suggestion...
Message to Steve: If possible, hightlight this in the update.
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(an earlier version of this idea)Ok, this'll be fun! Ver 2 | Rating: 5.00
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yea,we do need a new one,and i have some meep sories,if can you stand them.
I probably can't. But all stories here now please.
@BARK@
WOT THE HELL? THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ON THIS YEAR!!!! I DIDNT DO THAT!!! *BARK* THING!!!!!
Ok, It has been a while since anybody posted anything here, so I'm going to. It's not based on MR, but it is slightly inspired. This is the prolouge. Ok, here begins Chaos Wars.
The moon peered down between the tree branches, illuminating the loamy forest floor. D'narj peered between the trees, watching the road. Nothing was to be seen yet. He glanced around. Hidden throughout the trees were twenty Mistlham warriors. They were wearing armor which consisted of pieces of metal, shaped like fish scales, backed on hardened leather. Over a cuirass of such armor, they wore a deep blue tunic emblazoned with the falcon, the ensignia of the realm of Mistlham. They were armed with compound recurve bows, swords and sheilds. He was covered in similar armor, and armed with a sword. The blade was long, and iridescent blue. The cross was silver, and covered with ancient symbols, and it had an emerald cut onyx pommelstone. His hand rested on the hilt, as he waited.
Hours passed, and the road remained empty. The soldiers remained at their posts, despite the chill. D'narj made no attempt to warm or comfort himself either. He was considering that the spies may have been wrong when there was a disturbance on the road. He heard the sound of hooves, and instructed the archers to prepare. A hkazad ul'fhka marched into view. The minotaur was a massive, muscular creature, with black fur and thick hide. He had on a too small breastplate, and an iron cap between his horns. Another emerged, arrayed similarly. Behind them, three humans arrayed in crimson-backed armor rode.
Then, his target appeared. A woman on a creature that appeared to be made of smoke and shadow. It had a huge maw, with a great array of daggar-like teeth. She was arrayed in robes that were blood red, and covered in gold symbols. Her eyes were scarlet, and there was a red aura about her. Behind her rode more human soldiers, armored similar to their forbearers. D'narj raised his hand, and the soldiers tensed, waiting for the signal. Then he stepped out of his hiding place and shouted, "Aeonzile!" A bolt of light, tinted blue and straight as an arrow, emerged from his hand and hit the creature, upon which it flared like the dawn. The creature burst and thinned, like smoke in the wind, and the woman was thrown from it. Green shafted arrows flew from the trees, killing the riders in front. More embedded themselves in the hkazad, but could not pierce their thick skin.
The warriors charged, but D'narj was the first in. He headed straight for the woman, no, the wraith. She stood immediately, removing her robe to reveal red-and-gold armor. She wielded a blazing sword in one hand and a whip in the other. The whip lashed out like a serpant. He blocked it, and hewed it with his sword. While any lesser blade would have been broken by the bite of the wraith's whip, the smith that wrought D'narj's sword Aisoma placed enchantments on it never to break or fail its master. The magic blade sliced the whip in several places, and the scourge whithered into nothingness. The wraith threw herself at D'narj, sword in hand. He parryed, and thrust at her chest. She blocked it, and swung again.
They fought, as the wraith's guard and the Mistlham warriors fought. The human chaotic warriors were quickly overcome, but the hkazad were much stronger. It took six men to bring one down. Eventually they were defeated, and the warriors turned their attention to the wraith. One shot an arrow at her side, but lesser weapons cannot penatrate a wraith's wards. The arrow burned to ash before it touched her. She turned, lips curling into a feral smile, revealing sharpened teeth. She raised her hand and began to mouth words to kill the soldiers. D'narj used the distraction and lepth towards her, and shouted, "Argetnyl!" His sword blade shined with a silver light. She saw the attack, and twisted just enough that the thrust missed her heart. It buried itself into her left breast, impaling her completely on it. Her form stretched and thinned, and there was the sound of a sigh. Her armor, empty, fell to the ground. D'narj sank to his knees. She would be back, he knew it. He had failed.
The captain of the Mistlham soldiers approached. "We did it!" he said.
D'narj responded. "Not entirely. I missed her heart. She will be scarred forever, and temporarily weakened, but she will return to physical form. We will never have an opportunity like this again, I fear. Still, we bought us time. Now I must return to Museleth. Take your men back to your fort." With that he raised his hand and sent forth a shimmering light. There was a might crow, and a great falcon appeared, the Windmaster Sh'kaw. D'narj mounted him, and they flew into the west.
Captain Remson just stared in wonder. D'narj, captain of the Talons, was still a hero, no matter what he said. Still, Remson knew that there was plenty of room in battle for more heros. If anything, the fact that the wraith was still alive meant that more heros would be needed.
The moon peered down between the tree branches, illuminating the loamy forest floor. D'narj peered between the trees, watching the road. Nothing was to be seen yet. He glanced around. Hidden throughout the trees were twenty Mistlham warriors. They were wearing armor which consisted of pieces of metal, shaped like fish scales, backed on hardened leather. Over a cuirass of such armor, they wore a deep blue tunic emblazoned with the falcon, the ensignia of the realm of Mistlham. They were armed with compound recurve bows, swords and sheilds. He was covered in similar armor, and armed with a sword. The blade was long, and iridescent blue. The cross was silver, and covered with ancient symbols, and it had an emerald cut onyx pommelstone. His hand rested on the hilt, as he waited.
Hours passed, and the road remained empty. The soldiers remained at their posts, despite the chill. D'narj made no attempt to warm or comfort himself either. He was considering that the spies may have been wrong when there was a disturbance on the road. He heard the sound of hooves, and instructed the archers to prepare. A hkazad ul'fhka marched into view. The minotaur was a massive, muscular creature, with black fur and thick hide. He had on a too small breastplate, and an iron cap between his horns. Another emerged, arrayed similarly. Behind them, three humans arrayed in crimson-backed armor rode.
Then, his target appeared. A woman on a creature that appeared to be made of smoke and shadow. It had a huge maw, with a great array of daggar-like teeth. She was arrayed in robes that were blood red, and covered in gold symbols. Her eyes were scarlet, and there was a red aura about her. Behind her rode more human soldiers, armored similar to their forbearers. D'narj raised his hand, and the soldiers tensed, waiting for the signal. Then he stepped out of his hiding place and shouted, "Aeonzile!" A bolt of light, tinted blue and straight as an arrow, emerged from his hand and hit the creature, upon which it flared like the dawn. The creature burst and thinned, like smoke in the wind, and the woman was thrown from it. Green shafted arrows flew from the trees, killing the riders in front. More embedded themselves in the hkazad, but could not pierce their thick skin.
The warriors charged, but D'narj was the first in. He headed straight for the woman, no, the wraith. She stood immediately, removing her robe to reveal red-and-gold armor. She wielded a blazing sword in one hand and a whip in the other. The whip lashed out like a serpant. He blocked it, and hewed it with his sword. While any lesser blade would have been broken by the bite of the wraith's whip, the smith that wrought D'narj's sword Aisoma placed enchantments on it never to break or fail its master. The magic blade sliced the whip in several places, and the scourge whithered into nothingness. The wraith threw herself at D'narj, sword in hand. He parryed, and thrust at her chest. She blocked it, and swung again.
They fought, as the wraith's guard and the Mistlham warriors fought. The human chaotic warriors were quickly overcome, but the hkazad were much stronger. It took six men to bring one down. Eventually they were defeated, and the warriors turned their attention to the wraith. One shot an arrow at her side, but lesser weapons cannot penatrate a wraith's wards. The arrow burned to ash before it touched her. She turned, lips curling into a feral smile, revealing sharpened teeth. She raised her hand and began to mouth words to kill the soldiers. D'narj used the distraction and lepth towards her, and shouted, "Argetnyl!" His sword blade shined with a silver light. She saw the attack, and twisted just enough that the thrust missed her heart. It buried itself into her left breast, impaling her completely on it. Her form stretched and thinned, and there was the sound of a sigh. Her armor, empty, fell to the ground. D'narj sank to his knees. She would be back, he knew it. He had failed.
The captain of the Mistlham soldiers approached. "We did it!" he said.
D'narj responded. "Not entirely. I missed her heart. She will be scarred forever, and temporarily weakened, but she will return to physical form. We will never have an opportunity like this again, I fear. Still, we bought us time. Now I must return to Museleth. Take your men back to your fort." With that he raised his hand and sent forth a shimmering light. There was a might crow, and a great falcon appeared, the Windmaster Sh'kaw. D'narj mounted him, and they flew into the west.
Captain Remson just stared in wonder. D'narj, captain of the Talons, was still a hero, no matter what he said. Still, Remson knew that there was plenty of room in battle for more heros. If anything, the fact that the wraith was still alive meant that more heros would be needed.
u, that could mean that someone logged in as you. does anyone else know your password?
Good work, but, no offence, it seems very heavily based on Eragon or someting similar.
eg, woman ambushed in forest, wards and enchantments, etc, the word argetnyl...which did the silver thing. Arget is ancient language for silver in Eragon.
...
I'm right, aren't I?
eg, woman ambushed in forest, wards and enchantments, etc, the word argetnyl...which did the silver thing. Arget is ancient language for silver in Eragon.
...
I'm right, aren't I?
Great story.Can I post mine?
Heres mine:Sonji,tale of a LV 3 ninja
It was a long week,I walked and crept,the night dark,the area silent.My name is sonji,I am a ninja,I just got my first B rank mission a week ago,and I'm already on my first mission,and my first defeat.It all started a new day.I got up,and my friend doku made me breakfast,he is much higher rank then me so I respect him,hes level 12,I'm only level 3.He told me to shape up,it was going to be a long day.We had been training all month for this mission,I couldn't wait because it was my first.What was a mission?It wasn't anymore a mission then a war.The goblins have been feuding with us for sometime,we had had enough.Only 75 of us at the highest ranks were chosen,I got as the scrape goat for failure,but I didn't care.Our mission was a simple but un-easy one:Go into the goblin tree fortress (A.k.a.,forest of evil) and take them out one by one without causing mass panic.It was supposed to be a simple seek-and-destroy mission,we would have never have guessed we would be running into an ambush.I finished my breakfast,a energy bar,and we left camp and got ready.I packed my bag with knives,throwing stars,and my grandfathers lucky scroll.He said when I needed it the most,it would save my rear,but he was always saying stuid things like that,and he got shot with and arrow by a low ranking goblin,and fell.I watched him die,but I knew,we all knew.The life of a ninja is short lived,we are but weapons and tools of the higher nobles.We walked for what seemed like hours,until we say it.The tree that grew.This was a well known monument in the area.Its said that tree grew and grew since the old golden revolt of dark sages union VS the wizard of mar and his legions,but I don't think so,that was 2697 yents ago.Even trees die,don't they? It was also known as the goblin tree fort,because many of them lied ahead.We did what we were told,the plan I had been waiting for weeks,we got ourselfs into stealth mode and went into the hollow cavern at the bottom.We went through this dark,endless cave.We heard a roar,it was the Azukma golem,The 8 armed guardian of the tree fort.He stared at me,and attacked.A swipe with a smashing arm,and he missed my slick body.Again he attacked,only this time he grabbed part of his body and slammed it at me,I was very careful to dodge it,until he jumped up and down.With a body as big as his,he caused a massive shockwave and made me lose my balance and fall.On the ground and off guard,he made another fatal strike.I was doomed,one rock hit me,and I lost a great amount of hitpoints.Another fist was coming,I couldn't recover fast enough,it was all over,until-I heard a slash,a blow,and a grunt.The mighty golem fell to his knees and shattered into a pile of rocks.I saw behind the rocks,it was Doku,he took out the mighty golem in a single slash.Then he said to me ''Do I ALWAYS have to save you,you silly goose? Become stronger.'' I was happy to be saved 'cause he was a good friend,but a little mad at he always thinks so little of me just because he's 9 levels above me.I'll have my day I thought.We continued,and wasted more golems,only normal ones,not mighty 8 armed Azukma golems.They fell in only 3 hits,well for me.By the time I had killed my 3rd,Doku had killed his 9th,and the rest were killed by my guild.I'm guild 2C,there are about 5-20 members in each guild,and they make the total 9 guilds of 75 ninjas on this mission.We had all gone seperate ways and had seperate parts of the mission.Ours was to take out the guards,extra defences,what a job.But it was better then nothing.Our job was already done,we destroyed the ''guards'' and ''extra defences''.As we walked,we saw a light,it was the other side of the tunnel.We walked out of it,out of the golem-infested-tree,and were in a light little forest.We continued forward and saw what we came here for:The goblin towns,citys,huts,and the large fortess in the middle.I was about to step forward when a hand grabbed me from behind! I grabbed out my sword and swung everywhere with my eyes closed hoping to hit something.Then I opened them and say my stalker:It was Sunha.She was a ninja,but in a league of her own.She was pretty,skillful,and very cocky,but I liked that about her.I always liked her,we use to be good friends.But well in training,they nobles saw she was far to skilled to ever be with losers in my class.She was put in a tougher training,and earned a higher rank,the famous elite ''conflict'' guild,also leader guild of the mission.Anyway,back to the story.She said ''Sonji,you were picked for this mission too? I didn't even know you were high enough''.I responded ''Yeah,what luck,just luck,thats what I am,lucky me.Im ready for some goblin kicking action!'' Then I heard the voice of evil itself; Bob Mc ninja.The second in command of the conflict guild.He is a jerk.He said ''What do ya thinks your doing squirt?Shouldn't you be practicing running away?''That jerk. I told him''I was picked for this mission! Im in the rough-guard guild''! He laughed a cruel laugh and yelled''You fool!That guild is the -we take arrows in the face for you- guild.It means your our sheilds!You don't even have a purpose in the next phase of the mission'' I snapped back. ''I am NOT your shield! I took out several tough golems back in that cave!'' He just sneared ''Golems,wow.Kill a few hundred...thousand more of those and you might be as high level as me wimp!cough..LV16..cough.''I felt so de-graded,when Doku came.He said ''Bob,get a life.The only reason that your so high leveled and ranked is because you steal peoples kills and that your father is a very respected noble.You even stole my kill 2 years ago on that LV9 dragon,I got it down to 5 HP when you ran in and stabed it,and stole the EXP I should have gotten!'' Bob just laughed ''Whatever dweeb,if you hang out with him it doesn't matter what level you are,your just as low.'' Thats when Sunha spoke up again. ''Thats enough,the next phase is starting soon.Since your guilds part is over Sonji,cheer me on.Good luck!'' then she dissapeared.''I can't stand bob,that son of a''-Doku interupted to say''I have an idea! Lets sneak into the city and take out the fortress and beat them to it.We'll beat Coflict there and already have finished it!It was risky,but I didn't care.I wanted to impress Sunha,so I thought we'd do it.We did.We didn't know how Conflict planned to do it,we knew we just had to take out everyone in the center fortress,that was all.We set out,sneaking away from our guilds camp,and set into the city.We used stealth to not be seen.Ninjas are good at that.And goblins are not good at paying attention,so we went right by them.35 min,2 miles later,we reached the fortress gate.They asked for a password,we hacked through the door,and then hid inside the main lobby.When the guards came,we threw our stars and took'em out quickly.I hit 2,Doku took out the other 6.We grabbed them,and dragged them to a bathroom,and took their uniforms.Good thing Goblins also have horrible eyesight and can't tell a goblin from a ninja in a goblins uniform.We passed right by them,it was so easy.Until we ran into the 2nd top hallway,and two goblin swordsmen asked us for the password. I said ''Ummm... its-'' And he said '' you pass,''ummm...''is correct.Continue on sir.Me and Doku just looked at each other,and carried on.I told Doku; ''we are 2 halls away from the main center,the center of the fortress was there and we shall kill the goblin leader,take out him and all other leaders out,destroy anybody powerful,then then this city will be an easy target and we shall being it down.''He said ''WHAT?!?! GET HIM!!'' At first,I was confused,until I looked at him.It was some other goblin,not a ninja in disguise.I turned around to see Doku hopping out of a bathroom.I sigh'd,and ran! Me and Doku ran,until we saw who was chasing us.It was the conflict guild,thinking we were goblins on to them,and ready to silence us before we told anybody.I thought ''Mabee these uniforms are a little TO convincing.'' I ran behind an old goblin lady,She was fat so I was well covered.Doku hid behind-His fingers?!?! They walked right passed him,and continued looking for us on the next hall. I came by him and asked why they didn't see him.He said ''Art of hiding.My Perv-Uncle taught me how to do that to peak on girls,that came in handy.'' I said''After this is over,think you can teach me that?''(He slapped me,and we continued)Finally,we reached the main center.We went through the doors,and saw the control room with all sorts of stuff.We walked,and heard a voice.''Wow,you must think I'm stupid.I can't believe nobody saw through it.But you guessed the password.No goblin could figure out our password,you must me ninjas sent to kill me.''He revealed himself,as a buffed up goblin. He told us ''I am the goblin lord,I control ALL goblin,and things goblinish.'' I said '' We are not NINJA,what made you think that?'' He responded ''Well,for starters,you're holding a knive behind your back ,like I really can't see it.Second your holding throwing stars and pointing them at my face.'' ''Oh.busted'' I paused ''Busted indeed''The gob lord said,as he picked out a bow. I laughed,and said did he really think it could it me? He said ''No,im not aiming for you.''Then he fired a flamimg arrow at me, it missed.I was going to laugh,when I saw Doku was behind me.It hit him,he was knocked back with 1 HP left.I screamed,he fired one at me. I dodged it.Lucky for me my strongest stat is speed,which really is almost only good for running away.I dodged a few until he shot one off a hard metal board behind me.I dodged it,until it bounced off and it hit me in the leg.I took -17 Hp,and hurt my leg with -3 Speed. He did the same,Since U couldn't see where it would bounce I couldn't dodge as easily and took a few more hits.-7,-14,-5 HP it took. Watching my HP drain down to 5 points,and was slowing down.He screamed'' Its hopeless you fool,I am the goblin LORD,not some weak little golem you fought before.I had to think fast,cause thinkings not my thing.But through a whole 3 seconds,I thought of a plan.He aimed at the hard metal board once more,only this time I DIDN'T move out of the way.It never hit me,but just bounced off and hit him.he took a mean -22 Hp. He tried again,only the results were the same.This time he stopped aiming at the boards and aimed at me,I REVERSED his plan earlier and jumped in front of the metal board,TRYING to get hit.It missed me even thoe now he was aiming.At this point,I had him all figured out. I started throwing stars at him well he attacked himself,soon he was down to 3 HP,I grabbed my knife and was ready to end it.I ran him and-BANG!He fell.But I didn't hit him.I saw who did.It was Bob Mc. Ninja,the worst.He leveled up instantly.After ALL that,he took one blow and stole my kill,my level up,my promotion.The rest of conflict walked in. He told them ''Well this loser was not following his orders,I with my own 2 hands Knocked out the great Goblin lord cold!Then Doku got up. ''No you didn't! I watched Sonji fight well I was out,he took on the Goblin lord!!! Sunha screamed ''Bob,REALLY!?!?! You're AWSOME!!! I got so mad I Screamed at the top of my lungs '' Go to heck!!! I hit him,I planned hitting him,I took him out hit by hit!!! I've had ENOUGH OF YOU!!!'' Bob sneared ''You loser,you're so low.You shouldn't even be here.So unless you want to fight me(he pulled out his sword the Gatekeeper)then I say you SCRAM!'' I pulled out my knife and said'' Enough talk,Lets GO!'' We were about to strike each other,when HE came.This part I can't even think about without crying.We all saw him.It was a man in a blue trench coat,we couldn't see his face.There were 8 blue armored ones around him.Bob said '' Who are you?'' He said nothing ''He said ''answer me!'' He still remained silent. Finally Bob yelled '' I am Bob mc ninja,level 16,high ranked 2nd in command of conflict.Unless you reveal yourself,I will tear you to SHREDS!'' The hooded one only smiled.No,he smerked.Finally bob lost it. He charged his sword fullspeed at the strange man.It seemed like the blue one was done,nobody has ever stopped Bobs attacks,they give fatal 60-100 Dg blows.Yet,the next scene shocked me,as much as I hated bob,it puts me in shock.Bob came running with a fully charged weapon,ready to hack and slash.Then it happened.The blue hooded one just stuck his palm out the second bob came.A orangish light flashed,it happened so quickly.He took 2 steps back.Then bob,my worst enemie,biggest rival,most hated foe,just fell.Fell to the ground without another breath.Bob Mc ninja,was gone.All of conflict was so scared,yet so filled with rage.They all charged at him,He stuck out his hand,the same yellowish-orange light came,it flashed,they were all knocked back,and Sunha was knocked right into my arms out cold,but yet still alive.The rest of conflict got up,and ran at him.Thats when his blue armor coated friends,guards,whatever came out.There were 15 Conflict members and 8 of them,they slashed and hacked on each side.The 8 fell to pieces,but 3 guild members had been sliced,2 had an arrow in their bodys,1 had an ax in his back. those 6 fell the same way bob had.Then the remaining 9 ran at the blue hooded one,and he again created small flashes in his hands and stuck what was left of conflict,he knocked some back,some he slay.They went back again and again,within the 5th try,there was one left;dantre the first in command. He charged fire,poisen,ice,and lighting into his sword the elbis.He charged with his last breath.The blue one aimed his arm at Dans sword,and it knocked out his hands.The blue one jumped up,did a flip and grabbed it,then gave it back to dantre the hard way.Dantre fell.conflict,the strongest of all guilds and known to all ninja,had fallen at the hands of a single blue hooded man and his 8 followers.That scene,was just so horrible.I wish that was the worst,but it just wasn't.The hooded man then looked at me,doku,and Sunha.As if defeating all of conflict wasn't enough,he charged the same light again,and pointed it at us.We knew what it meant,he was a monster.He wanted us dead.We didn't know why,it didn't matter anyway.We were going to die.Thats when doku looked at me and said ''Sonji,run.Take Sunha and run.''I was about to ask about him,when he just said ''It doesn't matter.If you stay,you'll perish,we'll all perish.If we can't all be saved,at least some of you two can.Thats when the blue hooded one aimed it at me,thats when my heart stopped.Doku jumped,then screamed.I wish I could kill myself right now,just thinking about it,only a few hours ago.I closed my eyes,waiting,waiting to feel.Waiting to suffer what bob and conflict had suffered.Waiting to die.Thats when I opened my eyes,and wish I would have.I t was Doku,on the floor.The blast was aimed at me,but fate knew it wasn't my time yet,it was his and he knew that.He looked at me smiling,and with his last words,he said ''Do I always have to save you,? Become stronger.'' I burst into tears.Thats when it started to charge another blast,I quickly ran,thats all I'm good for,running.I ran back to my own weak guild.Thats why my guilds called rough-guard.We are rough,life is rough,and we guard.I ran past that,past the tree that grew,somewhere into a deep forest.Sunha soon woke up and I told her everything that happened,she cried for hours,I was with her the whole time.Hours past,felt like days as I stared at the moon questioning ''Who was that hooded figure?Is he with the goblins?Could I have done something?Am I truly a failure?'' I told Sunha that I'd find the monster who killed bob and Doku,and avenge them somehow.At the start of this day,I was someone,now I'm someone else.My story isn't over,its just began.
Wow that was long.
So?
Heres mine:Sonji,tale of a LV 3 ninja
It was a long week,I walked and crept,the night dark,the area silent.My name is sonji,I am a ninja,I just got my first B rank mission a week ago,and I'm already on my first mission,and my first defeat.It all started a new day.I got up,and my friend doku made me breakfast,he is much higher rank then me so I respect him,hes level 12,I'm only level 3.He told me to shape up,it was going to be a long day.We had been training all month for this mission,I couldn't wait because it was my first.What was a mission?It wasn't anymore a mission then a war.The goblins have been feuding with us for sometime,we had had enough.Only 75 of us at the highest ranks were chosen,I got as the scrape goat for failure,but I didn't care.Our mission was a simple but un-easy one:Go into the goblin tree fortress (A.k.a.,forest of evil) and take them out one by one without causing mass panic.It was supposed to be a simple seek-and-destroy mission,we would have never have guessed we would be running into an ambush.I finished my breakfast,a energy bar,and we left camp and got ready.I packed my bag with knives,throwing stars,and my grandfathers lucky scroll.He said when I needed it the most,it would save my rear,but he was always saying stuid things like that,and he got shot with and arrow by a low ranking goblin,and fell.I watched him die,but I knew,we all knew.The life of a ninja is short lived,we are but weapons and tools of the higher nobles.We walked for what seemed like hours,until we say it.The tree that grew.This was a well known monument in the area.Its said that tree grew and grew since the old golden revolt of dark sages union VS the wizard of mar and his legions,but I don't think so,that was 2697 yents ago.Even trees die,don't they? It was also known as the goblin tree fort,because many of them lied ahead.We did what we were told,the plan I had been waiting for weeks,we got ourselfs into stealth mode and went into the hollow cavern at the bottom.We went through this dark,endless cave.We heard a roar,it was the Azukma golem,The 8 armed guardian of the tree fort.He stared at me,and attacked.A swipe with a smashing arm,and he missed my slick body.Again he attacked,only this time he grabbed part of his body and slammed it at me,I was very careful to dodge it,until he jumped up and down.With a body as big as his,he caused a massive shockwave and made me lose my balance and fall.On the ground and off guard,he made another fatal strike.I was doomed,one rock hit me,and I lost a great amount of hitpoints.Another fist was coming,I couldn't recover fast enough,it was all over,until-I heard a slash,a blow,and a grunt.The mighty golem fell to his knees and shattered into a pile of rocks.I saw behind the rocks,it was Doku,he took out the mighty golem in a single slash.Then he said to me ''Do I ALWAYS have to save you,you silly goose? Become stronger.'' I was happy to be saved 'cause he was a good friend,but a little mad at he always thinks so little of me just because he's 9 levels above me.I'll have my day I thought.We continued,and wasted more golems,only normal ones,not mighty 8 armed Azukma golems.They fell in only 3 hits,well for me.By the time I had killed my 3rd,Doku had killed his 9th,and the rest were killed by my guild.I'm guild 2C,there are about 5-20 members in each guild,and they make the total 9 guilds of 75 ninjas on this mission.We had all gone seperate ways and had seperate parts of the mission.Ours was to take out the guards,extra defences,what a job.But it was better then nothing.Our job was already done,we destroyed the ''guards'' and ''extra defences''.As we walked,we saw a light,it was the other side of the tunnel.We walked out of it,out of the golem-infested-tree,and were in a light little forest.We continued forward and saw what we came here for:The goblin towns,citys,huts,and the large fortess in the middle.I was about to step forward when a hand grabbed me from behind! I grabbed out my sword and swung everywhere with my eyes closed hoping to hit something.Then I opened them and say my stalker:It was Sunha.She was a ninja,but in a league of her own.She was pretty,skillful,and very cocky,but I liked that about her.I always liked her,we use to be good friends.But well in training,they nobles saw she was far to skilled to ever be with losers in my class.She was put in a tougher training,and earned a higher rank,the famous elite ''conflict'' guild,also leader guild of the mission.Anyway,back to the story.She said ''Sonji,you were picked for this mission too? I didn't even know you were high enough''.I responded ''Yeah,what luck,just luck,thats what I am,lucky me.Im ready for some goblin kicking action!'' Then I heard the voice of evil itself; Bob Mc ninja.The second in command of the conflict guild.He is a jerk.He said ''What do ya thinks your doing squirt?Shouldn't you be practicing running away?''That jerk. I told him''I was picked for this mission! Im in the rough-guard guild''! He laughed a cruel laugh and yelled''You fool!That guild is the -we take arrows in the face for you- guild.It means your our sheilds!You don't even have a purpose in the next phase of the mission'' I snapped back. ''I am NOT your shield! I took out several tough golems back in that cave!'' He just sneared ''Golems,wow.Kill a few hundred...thousand more of those and you might be as high level as me wimp!cough..LV16..cough.''I felt so de-graded,when Doku came.He said ''Bob,get a life.The only reason that your so high leveled and ranked is because you steal peoples kills and that your father is a very respected noble.You even stole my kill 2 years ago on that LV9 dragon,I got it down to 5 HP when you ran in and stabed it,and stole the EXP I should have gotten!'' Bob just laughed ''Whatever dweeb,if you hang out with him it doesn't matter what level you are,your just as low.'' Thats when Sunha spoke up again. ''Thats enough,the next phase is starting soon.Since your guilds part is over Sonji,cheer me on.Good luck!'' then she dissapeared.''I can't stand bob,that son of a''-Doku interupted to say''I have an idea! Lets sneak into the city and take out the fortress and beat them to it.We'll beat Coflict there and already have finished it!It was risky,but I didn't care.I wanted to impress Sunha,so I thought we'd do it.We did.We didn't know how Conflict planned to do it,we knew we just had to take out everyone in the center fortress,that was all.We set out,sneaking away from our guilds camp,and set into the city.We used stealth to not be seen.Ninjas are good at that.And goblins are not good at paying attention,so we went right by them.35 min,2 miles later,we reached the fortress gate.They asked for a password,we hacked through the door,and then hid inside the main lobby.When the guards came,we threw our stars and took'em out quickly.I hit 2,Doku took out the other 6.We grabbed them,and dragged them to a bathroom,and took their uniforms.Good thing Goblins also have horrible eyesight and can't tell a goblin from a ninja in a goblins uniform.We passed right by them,it was so easy.Until we ran into the 2nd top hallway,and two goblin swordsmen asked us for the password. I said ''Ummm... its-'' And he said '' you pass,''ummm...''is correct.Continue on sir.Me and Doku just looked at each other,and carried on.I told Doku; ''we are 2 halls away from the main center,the center of the fortress was there and we shall kill the goblin leader,take out him and all other leaders out,destroy anybody powerful,then then this city will be an easy target and we shall being it down.''He said ''WHAT?!?! GET HIM!!'' At first,I was confused,until I looked at him.It was some other goblin,not a ninja in disguise.I turned around to see Doku hopping out of a bathroom.I sigh'd,and ran! Me and Doku ran,until we saw who was chasing us.It was the conflict guild,thinking we were goblins on to them,and ready to silence us before we told anybody.I thought ''Mabee these uniforms are a little TO convincing.'' I ran behind an old goblin lady,She was fat so I was well covered.Doku hid behind-His fingers?!?! They walked right passed him,and continued looking for us on the next hall. I came by him and asked why they didn't see him.He said ''Art of hiding.My Perv-Uncle taught me how to do that to peak on girls,that came in handy.'' I said''After this is over,think you can teach me that?''(He slapped me,and we continued)Finally,we reached the main center.We went through the doors,and saw the control room with all sorts of stuff.We walked,and heard a voice.''Wow,you must think I'm stupid.I can't believe nobody saw through it.But you guessed the password.No goblin could figure out our password,you must me ninjas sent to kill me.''He revealed himself,as a buffed up goblin. He told us ''I am the goblin lord,I control ALL goblin,and things goblinish.'' I said '' We are not NINJA,what made you think that?'' He responded ''Well,for starters,you're holding a knive behind your back ,like I really can't see it.Second your holding throwing stars and pointing them at my face.'' ''Oh.busted'' I paused ''Busted indeed''The gob lord said,as he picked out a bow. I laughed,and said did he really think it could it me? He said ''No,im not aiming for you.''Then he fired a flamimg arrow at me, it missed.I was going to laugh,when I saw Doku was behind me.It hit him,he was knocked back with 1 HP left.I screamed,he fired one at me. I dodged it.Lucky for me my strongest stat is speed,which really is almost only good for running away.I dodged a few until he shot one off a hard metal board behind me.I dodged it,until it bounced off and it hit me in the leg.I took -17 Hp,and hurt my leg with -3 Speed. He did the same,Since U couldn't see where it would bounce I couldn't dodge as easily and took a few more hits.-7,-14,-5 HP it took. Watching my HP drain down to 5 points,and was slowing down.He screamed'' Its hopeless you fool,I am the goblin LORD,not some weak little golem you fought before.I had to think fast,cause thinkings not my thing.But through a whole 3 seconds,I thought of a plan.He aimed at the hard metal board once more,only this time I DIDN'T move out of the way.It never hit me,but just bounced off and hit him.he took a mean -22 Hp. He tried again,only the results were the same.This time he stopped aiming at the boards and aimed at me,I REVERSED his plan earlier and jumped in front of the metal board,TRYING to get hit.It missed me even thoe now he was aiming.At this point,I had him all figured out. I started throwing stars at him well he attacked himself,soon he was down to 3 HP,I grabbed my knife and was ready to end it.I ran him and-BANG!He fell.But I didn't hit him.I saw who did.It was Bob Mc. Ninja,the worst.He leveled up instantly.After ALL that,he took one blow and stole my kill,my level up,my promotion.The rest of conflict walked in. He told them ''Well this loser was not following his orders,I with my own 2 hands Knocked out the great Goblin lord cold!Then Doku got up. ''No you didn't! I watched Sonji fight well I was out,he took on the Goblin lord!!! Sunha screamed ''Bob,REALLY!?!?! You're AWSOME!!! I got so mad I Screamed at the top of my lungs '' Go to heck!!! I hit him,I planned hitting him,I took him out hit by hit!!! I've had ENOUGH OF YOU!!!'' Bob sneared ''You loser,you're so low.You shouldn't even be here.So unless you want to fight me(he pulled out his sword the Gatekeeper)then I say you SCRAM!'' I pulled out my knife and said'' Enough talk,Lets GO!'' We were about to strike each other,when HE came.This part I can't even think about without crying.We all saw him.It was a man in a blue trench coat,we couldn't see his face.There were 8 blue armored ones around him.Bob said '' Who are you?'' He said nothing ''He said ''answer me!'' He still remained silent. Finally Bob yelled '' I am Bob mc ninja,level 16,high ranked 2nd in command of conflict.Unless you reveal yourself,I will tear you to SHREDS!'' The hooded one only smiled.No,he smerked.Finally bob lost it. He charged his sword fullspeed at the strange man.It seemed like the blue one was done,nobody has ever stopped Bobs attacks,they give fatal 60-100 Dg blows.Yet,the next scene shocked me,as much as I hated bob,it puts me in shock.Bob came running with a fully charged weapon,ready to hack and slash.Then it happened.The blue hooded one just stuck his palm out the second bob came.A orangish light flashed,it happened so quickly.He took 2 steps back.Then bob,my worst enemie,biggest rival,most hated foe,just fell.Fell to the ground without another breath.Bob Mc ninja,was gone.All of conflict was so scared,yet so filled with rage.They all charged at him,He stuck out his hand,the same yellowish-orange light came,it flashed,they were all knocked back,and Sunha was knocked right into my arms out cold,but yet still alive.The rest of conflict got up,and ran at him.Thats when his blue armor coated friends,guards,whatever came out.There were 15 Conflict members and 8 of them,they slashed and hacked on each side.The 8 fell to pieces,but 3 guild members had been sliced,2 had an arrow in their bodys,1 had an ax in his back. those 6 fell the same way bob had.Then the remaining 9 ran at the blue hooded one,and he again created small flashes in his hands and stuck what was left of conflict,he knocked some back,some he slay.They went back again and again,within the 5th try,there was one left;dantre the first in command. He charged fire,poisen,ice,and lighting into his sword the elbis.He charged with his last breath.The blue one aimed his arm at Dans sword,and it knocked out his hands.The blue one jumped up,did a flip and grabbed it,then gave it back to dantre the hard way.Dantre fell.conflict,the strongest of all guilds and known to all ninja,had fallen at the hands of a single blue hooded man and his 8 followers.That scene,was just so horrible.I wish that was the worst,but it just wasn't.The hooded man then looked at me,doku,and Sunha.As if defeating all of conflict wasn't enough,he charged the same light again,and pointed it at us.We knew what it meant,he was a monster.He wanted us dead.We didn't know why,it didn't matter anyway.We were going to die.Thats when doku looked at me and said ''Sonji,run.Take Sunha and run.''I was about to ask about him,when he just said ''It doesn't matter.If you stay,you'll perish,we'll all perish.If we can't all be saved,at least some of you two can.Thats when the blue hooded one aimed it at me,thats when my heart stopped.Doku jumped,then screamed.I wish I could kill myself right now,just thinking about it,only a few hours ago.I closed my eyes,waiting,waiting to feel.Waiting to suffer what bob and conflict had suffered.Waiting to die.Thats when I opened my eyes,and wish I would have.I t was Doku,on the floor.The blast was aimed at me,but fate knew it wasn't my time yet,it was his and he knew that.He looked at me smiling,and with his last words,he said ''Do I always have to save you,? Become stronger.'' I burst into tears.Thats when it started to charge another blast,I quickly ran,thats all I'm good for,running.I ran back to my own weak guild.Thats why my guilds called rough-guard.We are rough,life is rough,and we guard.I ran past that,past the tree that grew,somewhere into a deep forest.Sunha soon woke up and I told her everything that happened,she cried for hours,I was with her the whole time.Hours past,felt like days as I stared at the moon questioning ''Who was that hooded figure?Is he with the goblins?Could I have done something?Am I truly a failure?'' I told Sunha that I'd find the monster who killed bob and Doku,and avenge them somehow.At the start of this day,I was someone,now I'm someone else.My story isn't over,its just began.
Wow that was long.
So?
It strikes me that any long block of text is nigh impossible to read in this place. So dull...
We need some way to make this more interesting.
Maybe illustrations made from game graphics? That would work.
We need some way to make this more interesting.
Maybe illustrations made from game graphics? That would work.
um steve you do know steve was being rude when he said the h word.
"Good work, but, no offence, it seems very heavily based on Eragon or someting similar.
eg, woman ambushed in forest, wards and enchantments, etc, the word argetnyl...which did the silver thing. Arget is ancient language for silver in Eragon.
...
I'm right, aren't I?"
Yeeesss... but... "Silver (IPA: /?s?lv?(?)/) is a chemical element with the symbol Ag (Latin: argentum)." thus, that might not be a copy...
eg, woman ambushed in forest, wards and enchantments, etc, the word argetnyl...which did the silver thing. Arget is ancient language for silver in Eragon.
...
I'm right, aren't I?"
Yeeesss... but... "Silver (IPA: /?s?lv?(?)/) is a chemical element with the symbol Ag (Latin: argentum)." thus, that might not be a copy...
The master of wizards, I think you meant u. But I'm not sure whether "hell" is swearing it's just the name of a place isn't it?
Besides, he was understandably upset.
Besides, he was understandably upset.
Well, yea, mr$, you're right, but that doesn't really explain the other similarities.
no one else knows my password. and its now one thats easy to guess
Any way, it's been a while since I've posted again, so I have decided to post a different story, since I lost track of the first one. If you like this one, show interest, and I'll make more chapters. Otherwise, I'll probably forget about it. Not really MR, but I might be able to make a cross-over.
Archaic Lore
Prolouge
Somewhere in the distant past, or is it the future? Time has become a blur to me. In this time, there were three nations in the land of J'onarch, within the Great Barrier. The first nation was the Kingdom of the Descendants of Men. Not truely strong in magic, they preserved the knowledge of the Ancients, and built vast cities, and their craftsmanship was unsurpassed. In their golden years, they were truely a wonderous and prosperous people.
The second nation was that of the Woodfolk, who lived in the forest of Loamhearth. They built very little, and adapted themselves to their surroundings. Peaceful, they lived most of their lives carelessly.
The third nation belongs to the Elementals. Their kind had the ability to harness the power of nature, in the form of its most basic forces. While no single Elemental could master all the forces, they worked together to acheive much. The Elementals were destined to have a great impact on their world.
The three nations lived in relative peace, mostly ignoring each other. Then one day, disaster struck. With what was possibly the most powerful incantation in history, an unknown force of malice struck dead the entire nation of the Descendants in the blink of an eye. But it did not stop there. For after their death, the Descendants rose to serve their new master. They had become the Necromarchers.
And they set their sights for both the other nations.
Archaic Lore
Prolouge
Somewhere in the distant past, or is it the future? Time has become a blur to me. In this time, there were three nations in the land of J'onarch, within the Great Barrier. The first nation was the Kingdom of the Descendants of Men. Not truely strong in magic, they preserved the knowledge of the Ancients, and built vast cities, and their craftsmanship was unsurpassed. In their golden years, they were truely a wonderous and prosperous people.
The second nation was that of the Woodfolk, who lived in the forest of Loamhearth. They built very little, and adapted themselves to their surroundings. Peaceful, they lived most of their lives carelessly.
The third nation belongs to the Elementals. Their kind had the ability to harness the power of nature, in the form of its most basic forces. While no single Elemental could master all the forces, they worked together to acheive much. The Elementals were destined to have a great impact on their world.
The three nations lived in relative peace, mostly ignoring each other. Then one day, disaster struck. With what was possibly the most powerful incantation in history, an unknown force of malice struck dead the entire nation of the Descendants in the blink of an eye. But it did not stop there. For after their death, the Descendants rose to serve their new master. They had become the Necromarchers.
And they set their sights for both the other nations.
Tell me what you think.
That sounds very interesting, RR (can I call u that?)
I'd like to read more, but - a word of advice - keep ur chapters or whatever about that length. U'll b more likely to get readers that way lol
I'd like to read more, but - a word of advice - keep ur chapters or whatever about that length. U'll b more likely to get readers that way lol
Yes well, sorry I couldn't post this earlier. I went on a trip this week. Darren, yes you can call me that. Strange, I thought the prologue was too short. Anyway, Chapter I is long, because I had to try to introduce the main characters. Most chapters won't be this long.
Chapter I
Calm yourself. You are the light. Light is an extension of you. Move the light as you would your arm. Atros concentrated on the fire. Light is focused on the log. The log heats as light focuses on it. Tendrils of smoke appeared where Atros’ eyes focused on the firewood. Light is focused on the log. The log heats and burns. The point of the firewood where Atros was focused began to glow orange. Light is focused…
Suddenly, the firewood burst into flames. Atros turned, seething. He knew exactly who had been responsible for disrupting his work. Brisa stood there, her arm raised. “You!” Atros said. “I was trying to start a fire!” “Yes,” she said, “And I succeeded. I don’t know why you are so angry.”
Atros was about to respond when Algor stepped in. “Enough. The point is the fire has been made. Now we won’t all freeze. Brisa is a fire-wielder; it is most efficient that she make the fire. Now, let us cook and eat the food.”
As they sat, Atros examined the party of four. They were all of the rank of wielder, but each of a different force. He was a light-wielder, and his hardened leather armor had golden rays on it. He had golden hair, which he kept short, and shining amber eyes. He was the tallest in the group, and the oldest. However, they were all young, having just completed the academy’s training.
To his left sat Algor, ice-wielder. His clothes had white, angular patterns like frost running across them. His hair was bristly and sheer white, and his eyes were an icy blue. His body was lean and compact, but strong and hard, and he behaved in a pattern of cold logic.
Directly in front of him was Brisa, the one with whom he had argued. She was of an average height, but that was about all of her she was average. She was stunningly shaped, and her face was perfect. Her hair was like the dawn sun; her eyes were like molten copper. She was a fire-wielder, and she behaved like it, wearing her passions like a gold chain.
To his right sat Aerola, an air-wielder. She was calm most of the time; she had been the only one who had remained silent. She was his cousin, and they were great friends, having known each other their whole lives. She had long, viridian hair, emerald eyes, and was shorter than he.
They ate in silence, the argument adding to an already tense situation. They had been sent to the borderland, the land between the kingdom of the Descendants and the Elemental nation. There had not been word from the Descendants recently, and the upper echelons of the Hierarchy were concerned. They had been sent to guard the borderland from unexpected intruders.
This assignment was not that dangerous. The three nations did not contact each other often; silence was not unexpected. The reality was this was a simple mission, and a good way to start new graduates from the academy. However, it was still their first mission, their first assignment away from their instructors.
The food was good, desert lizard served in a stew with roots and salts. After they had finished eating, Aerola came and sat next to him. In a voice so only he could hear, she said, “’Only those close to the heart are capable of arousing such a strong emotional response.’ You like her, don’t you?” “You’re being a big help,” Atros replied.
Atros took the first watch, and the other three went to sleep. Atros thought about what Aerola had said. He had known that he had fallen for Brisa since they first had met, but he had done little with it. They were a close group, and he did not feel as if she felt for him as well.
It was some time near midnight when he thought he heard a rustle, saw a flash of movement. He peered into the night, and could vaguely make out a humanoid form. Immediately he roused the others. Algor and Brisa remained where the camp was, and Atros and Aerola went to pursue the figure.
Atros went ahead, his sword drawn. It was made in the fashion of Elemental blades; the handle was curved inwards, the blade long and one-edged, thin and straight. The blade was an iridescent bronze, as were the blades of all light elementals. Aerola held a similar blade, hers iridescent jade.
To him, the faint moonlight was like sunlight, illuminating all details in stark contrast. Even so, the entity that he was pursuing seemed a living shadow, absorbing all light from around it. They ran into a small gully, when a form blocked their path. Two more appeared behind them, trapping them. And so, Atros first looked into the face of his opponent.
Chapter I
Calm yourself. You are the light. Light is an extension of you. Move the light as you would your arm. Atros concentrated on the fire. Light is focused on the log. The log heats as light focuses on it. Tendrils of smoke appeared where Atros’ eyes focused on the firewood. Light is focused on the log. The log heats and burns. The point of the firewood where Atros was focused began to glow orange. Light is focused…
Suddenly, the firewood burst into flames. Atros turned, seething. He knew exactly who had been responsible for disrupting his work. Brisa stood there, her arm raised. “You!” Atros said. “I was trying to start a fire!” “Yes,” she said, “And I succeeded. I don’t know why you are so angry.”
Atros was about to respond when Algor stepped in. “Enough. The point is the fire has been made. Now we won’t all freeze. Brisa is a fire-wielder; it is most efficient that she make the fire. Now, let us cook and eat the food.”
As they sat, Atros examined the party of four. They were all of the rank of wielder, but each of a different force. He was a light-wielder, and his hardened leather armor had golden rays on it. He had golden hair, which he kept short, and shining amber eyes. He was the tallest in the group, and the oldest. However, they were all young, having just completed the academy’s training.
To his left sat Algor, ice-wielder. His clothes had white, angular patterns like frost running across them. His hair was bristly and sheer white, and his eyes were an icy blue. His body was lean and compact, but strong and hard, and he behaved in a pattern of cold logic.
Directly in front of him was Brisa, the one with whom he had argued. She was of an average height, but that was about all of her she was average. She was stunningly shaped, and her face was perfect. Her hair was like the dawn sun; her eyes were like molten copper. She was a fire-wielder, and she behaved like it, wearing her passions like a gold chain.
To his right sat Aerola, an air-wielder. She was calm most of the time; she had been the only one who had remained silent. She was his cousin, and they were great friends, having known each other their whole lives. She had long, viridian hair, emerald eyes, and was shorter than he.
They ate in silence, the argument adding to an already tense situation. They had been sent to the borderland, the land between the kingdom of the Descendants and the Elemental nation. There had not been word from the Descendants recently, and the upper echelons of the Hierarchy were concerned. They had been sent to guard the borderland from unexpected intruders.
This assignment was not that dangerous. The three nations did not contact each other often; silence was not unexpected. The reality was this was a simple mission, and a good way to start new graduates from the academy. However, it was still their first mission, their first assignment away from their instructors.
The food was good, desert lizard served in a stew with roots and salts. After they had finished eating, Aerola came and sat next to him. In a voice so only he could hear, she said, “’Only those close to the heart are capable of arousing such a strong emotional response.’ You like her, don’t you?” “You’re being a big help,” Atros replied.
Atros took the first watch, and the other three went to sleep. Atros thought about what Aerola had said. He had known that he had fallen for Brisa since they first had met, but he had done little with it. They were a close group, and he did not feel as if she felt for him as well.
It was some time near midnight when he thought he heard a rustle, saw a flash of movement. He peered into the night, and could vaguely make out a humanoid form. Immediately he roused the others. Algor and Brisa remained where the camp was, and Atros and Aerola went to pursue the figure.
Atros went ahead, his sword drawn. It was made in the fashion of Elemental blades; the handle was curved inwards, the blade long and one-edged, thin and straight. The blade was an iridescent bronze, as were the blades of all light elementals. Aerola held a similar blade, hers iridescent jade.
To him, the faint moonlight was like sunlight, illuminating all details in stark contrast. Even so, the entity that he was pursuing seemed a living shadow, absorbing all light from around it. They ran into a small gully, when a form blocked their path. Two more appeared behind them, trapping them. And so, Atros first looked into the face of his opponent.
Um, hello?
Yes, well, the rest of the story is at malletmann.deviantart.com
Yes, well, the rest of the story is at malletmann.deviantart.com
ok, here is a meep story preview, if you want to see the whole ting just tell me.
the meep leader had learned of the past deafeats, and they had even dammaged the great city of mehoa, he was angry, he wanted revenge.......
the battle that followed was the largest battle in the [MEEPS VS WIZARDS] war, what happened was terrorfying.
the meep leader wanted to strike the wizards where it hurt, the towers of the (forgot the name).
the meepsprepaired for months, staying out of sight, only one scout had the message that would save the wizards, but will they bielive?.......
well thats how the preview goes and tell me if u want me to tell u the whole story
the meep leader had learned of the past deafeats, and they had even dammaged the great city of mehoa, he was angry, he wanted revenge.......
the battle that followed was the largest battle in the [MEEPS VS WIZARDS] war, what happened was terrorfying.
the meep leader wanted to strike the wizards where it hurt, the towers of the (forgot the name).
the meepsprepaired for months, staying out of sight, only one scout had the message that would save the wizards, but will they bielive?.......
well thats how the preview goes and tell me if u want me to tell u the whole story
You are obsessed with meeps.
yes i am :)
Wow. This is dead. I really think we need a new story so I might(emphasis on might) try something, but I need ideas.Maby a continuation of a soldier in the night?or of Knight, or the swamp.(This is asuming MR.ROX is dead or something).I won't be as good as the originals but I will try.(If I deceide to do this.But please tell me if you think I'm wasting my time or something)
No, I think a new story (though perhaps if we could organise to have only one running at a time we'd have less confusion) would be nice.
I was thinking about that story I started on all that time ago, and this suggestion in general, the other day...hehe. Out of interest (since checking really doesn't feel worthwhile for me if people can just remember) were there any stories other than mine that were just left totally unfinished?
I was thinking about that story I started on all that time ago, and this suggestion in general, the other day...hehe. Out of interest (since checking really doesn't feel worthwhile for me if people can just remember) were there any stories other than mine that were just left totally unfinished?
Once upon a time, there was a potato.
And I ate it.
THE END!!!
And I ate it.
THE END!!!
Darren: I can't remember very many that were finished, actually.
I've deceided! My story will not be about merlin, but a archer(who may run into merlin occasionally, every 5 chapters pehaps?)Expect chapter one by next Saturday.Ideas welcome!(More like ideas begged!!!)
THNX FOR LOOKIN!!
Super_merlin
THNX FOR LOOKIN!!
Super_merlin
Well, here it is!!!
The Archer(Working title)
Chapter 1
A long time ago on a galaxy far, far away… DAHHH DUHH DUHHHH!! Wait that’s Star Wars. Never mind!!(Looks through files) Ahh. Here we are. This is a tale of long ago, in a time when there were giant flame-throwing dragons. In a time of wizards, goblins, skellys, sorcerers, and, of course, 25 foot tall giant robot babies with the ability to expel monsters from various orifices. And in a place called (See suggestion_5216).
As for me, I am called The Great Archer. No one knows my name. Not even me. Any way, I had a rather tragic childhood. When I was very young, a black wizard came and destroyed my home. When he was about to kill me, however, a group of men, dressed in white came, and battled him. While he was distracted, one of them grabbed me and ran in the woods. However, hordes of goblins came down from the hills, and he dropped me to battle them. Later, I believe he tried to find me, but without success. Soon after he dropped me, a group of woodland rangers found me, and took me up as there own. They trained me in the ways of a ranger, learning the art of the bow and of the sword.
Now, I am 20. It is tradition in the rangers to give names to trainees, according to their strengths, at age 20.My best friend in the rangers was a trainee, like me. However, he had been found at age 10, so he knew his name, which was Galdir. Now, before we were named, we were just given normal names. Mine was Huron, after the original ranger.
The day of my naming, I had undertaken the normal tasks of training, hunting, and scoutiong.At night, Galdir came to me and told me I was summoned to the Elder Ranger for my naming.
"Rise Huron!" said the Elder. I did. "You have showed great proficiency at most all skills, especially at Archery". I said nothing, "So from this day henceforward, you shall be called The Great Archer.
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Well, how was it?!?! Any feedback and ideas are appreciated. Yes, this did come out early.☺ Some of you may be wondering why I did this, and mainly because last night I read through every story, and I realized what a tragedy it was to have passed. This is pretty much an attempt to revive it.
THNX FOR LOOKING!!
Super_merlin
The Archer(Working title)
Chapter 1
A long time ago on a galaxy far, far away… DAHHH DUHH DUHHHH!! Wait that’s Star Wars. Never mind!!(Looks through files) Ahh. Here we are. This is a tale of long ago, in a time when there were giant flame-throwing dragons. In a time of wizards, goblins, skellys, sorcerers, and, of course, 25 foot tall giant robot babies with the ability to expel monsters from various orifices. And in a place called (See suggestion_5216).
As for me, I am called The Great Archer. No one knows my name. Not even me. Any way, I had a rather tragic childhood. When I was very young, a black wizard came and destroyed my home. When he was about to kill me, however, a group of men, dressed in white came, and battled him. While he was distracted, one of them grabbed me and ran in the woods. However, hordes of goblins came down from the hills, and he dropped me to battle them. Later, I believe he tried to find me, but without success. Soon after he dropped me, a group of woodland rangers found me, and took me up as there own. They trained me in the ways of a ranger, learning the art of the bow and of the sword.
Now, I am 20. It is tradition in the rangers to give names to trainees, according to their strengths, at age 20.My best friend in the rangers was a trainee, like me. However, he had been found at age 10, so he knew his name, which was Galdir. Now, before we were named, we were just given normal names. Mine was Huron, after the original ranger.
The day of my naming, I had undertaken the normal tasks of training, hunting, and scoutiong.At night, Galdir came to me and told me I was summoned to the Elder Ranger for my naming.
"Rise Huron!" said the Elder. I did. "You have showed great proficiency at most all skills, especially at Archery". I said nothing, "So from this day henceforward, you shall be called The Great Archer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, how was it?!?! Any feedback and ideas are appreciated. Yes, this did come out early.☺ Some of you may be wondering why I did this, and mainly because last night I read through every story, and I realized what a tragedy it was to have passed. This is pretty much an attempt to revive it.
THNX FOR LOOKING!!
Super_merlin
Nice start there. Trouble with suggestions is, everyone'll know what happens.
Sorry chapter one was so short. I didnt know the scale from word to this.
Darren: Why Thankee! With suggestions, it is rather similar to mary poppins.
Mr. Banks:And I suggest you have this piano replaced. When I sit down to an instument, I like to have it in tune.
Mrs.Banks: But George,you don't play.
Mr. Banks: Maddam!That is precisley beside the point!
Basically, there is no telling what I'll use. If I use them at all.Plus, it tells me people are actually reading my story(of which chapter two should be made by Saturday)
Wanting feedback,
THNX FOR LOOKING,
Super_merlin
Darren: Why Thankee! With suggestions, it is rather similar to mary poppins.
Mr. Banks:And I suggest you have this piano replaced. When I sit down to an instument, I like to have it in tune.
Mrs.Banks: But George,you don't play.
Mr. Banks: Maddam!That is precisley beside the point!
Basically, there is no telling what I'll use. If I use them at all.Plus, it tells me people are actually reading my story(of which chapter two should be made by Saturday)
Wanting feedback,
THNX FOR LOOKING,
Super_merlin
And here's chapter 2! (If rox, Steve and lokey are alive☺)
The Archer (still working title, ideas needed)
Chapter 2(WOOHOO, that was random)
Well, I could have gotten better, but I could have of gotten worse. The main thing I needed to worry about Gwaldir calling me "Archy" or announcing me as so: And herrrrrrrrreeeeeeeesssssss Suuuuuuuppppeeerrr Aaarrrccchhheeerr!!! That would annoy.
"Congrats, Great Archer. There is something else that needs discussing, however. A large goblin village lies north of here. Scouts report that other things, worse than goblins, have been seen roaming the land. Golems are beginning to rise out of the mountains. Ghosts and necromancers are rising out of their graves. This has led me to believe that the Black Sorcerer has arisen again."
Silence came over the camp.
"The Black Sorcerer, as you all know, is the pure manifestation of evil. A curse on all the earth. However, he must be very weak, or we would already be dead. I believe something may be hidden in that goblin village, as goblins are usually very unorganized. Therefore, we must destroy it," Said the elder.
I had always heard about the Black Sorcerer, but mast of us thought him a myth. I remembered the black figure in my childhood memories. But that couldn't be him. But if it was, said a voice in my head, why was he so concerned with me?
"We shall attack tomorrow, at first light"
The next day, we marched about 50 miles to the village. The plan was simple enough. Have a few rangers distract them by sneaking into the village then use a whistle too high for goblins to hear, and then swarm them with arrows. Unfortunately, the plan wasn't to fun for the distracters, who happened to be me and Gwaldir.
We ran to the beginning of the village and shot the single guard. We snuck into the center of the village, which was eerily silent. After setting of a few energy bombs we had bought of a traveling wizard, we hid in some nearby bushes and blew the whistle.
Arrows swarmed into the village. The goblins, which had been in their clan standing grabbed their arms (weapons, not appendages) and rammed into the battalion of rangers, making the battle a free-for-all. Me and Gwaldir, who had planned to sneak into the woods and fire arrows like mad, had the misfortune of accidentally shooting one of the deaf and blind goblin mages in their special huts. They noticed us, and cast a few energy blasts which, although only slightly painful, did push us right into the mage hut. Knowing they had us, they teleported us into the prison. As soon as I got over the dizziness that comes with being teleported, I heard the faint word of retreat.
After a few days of repulsive food and water (and lots of complaints from Gwaldir) I heard the sound of warriors and energy blast exploding in the night. A while later, I saw a two men dressed in blue and purple (or is it pink) cast a few energy blasts, which instantly fried the bars.
"Who are you?" I asked nervously.
"Merlin" was the reply.
TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!MWAHAHA!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well this seems to be getting Harry Potterish. Well, we won't be seeing much of that in a while anyway. Also, I am EXTREMLY SORRY for this taking so long. It seems just wrong that an 11 year old should be this busy. I have Academic team, basketball, going to St. Louis this weekend, abnormally large amounts of home work. Pre-Algebra, maintaining status as smartest 6th grader in school, well you get the point. Expect chapter 3, errrrrrrrr, sometime.
The Archer (still working title, ideas needed)
Chapter 2(WOOHOO, that was random)
Well, I could have gotten better, but I could have of gotten worse. The main thing I needed to worry about Gwaldir calling me "Archy" or announcing me as so: And herrrrrrrrreeeeeeeesssssss Suuuuuuuppppeeerrr Aaarrrccchhheeerr!!! That would annoy.
"Congrats, Great Archer. There is something else that needs discussing, however. A large goblin village lies north of here. Scouts report that other things, worse than goblins, have been seen roaming the land. Golems are beginning to rise out of the mountains. Ghosts and necromancers are rising out of their graves. This has led me to believe that the Black Sorcerer has arisen again."
Silence came over the camp.
"The Black Sorcerer, as you all know, is the pure manifestation of evil. A curse on all the earth. However, he must be very weak, or we would already be dead. I believe something may be hidden in that goblin village, as goblins are usually very unorganized. Therefore, we must destroy it," Said the elder.
I had always heard about the Black Sorcerer, but mast of us thought him a myth. I remembered the black figure in my childhood memories. But that couldn't be him. But if it was, said a voice in my head, why was he so concerned with me?
"We shall attack tomorrow, at first light"
The next day, we marched about 50 miles to the village. The plan was simple enough. Have a few rangers distract them by sneaking into the village then use a whistle too high for goblins to hear, and then swarm them with arrows. Unfortunately, the plan wasn't to fun for the distracters, who happened to be me and Gwaldir.
We ran to the beginning of the village and shot the single guard. We snuck into the center of the village, which was eerily silent. After setting of a few energy bombs we had bought of a traveling wizard, we hid in some nearby bushes and blew the whistle.
Arrows swarmed into the village. The goblins, which had been in their clan standing grabbed their arms (weapons, not appendages) and rammed into the battalion of rangers, making the battle a free-for-all. Me and Gwaldir, who had planned to sneak into the woods and fire arrows like mad, had the misfortune of accidentally shooting one of the deaf and blind goblin mages in their special huts. They noticed us, and cast a few energy blasts which, although only slightly painful, did push us right into the mage hut. Knowing they had us, they teleported us into the prison. As soon as I got over the dizziness that comes with being teleported, I heard the faint word of retreat.
After a few days of repulsive food and water (and lots of complaints from Gwaldir) I heard the sound of warriors and energy blast exploding in the night. A while later, I saw a two men dressed in blue and purple (or is it pink) cast a few energy blasts, which instantly fried the bars.
"Who are you?" I asked nervously.
"Merlin" was the reply.
TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!MWAHAHA!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well this seems to be getting Harry Potterish. Well, we won't be seeing much of that in a while anyway. Also, I am EXTREMLY SORRY for this taking so long. It seems just wrong that an 11 year old should be this busy. I have Academic team, basketball, going to St. Louis this weekend, abnormally large amounts of home work. Pre-Algebra, maintaining status as smartest 6th grader in school, well you get the point. Expect chapter 3, errrrrrrrr, sometime.
Oh NOOOO! I forgot something in chapt. 2!!
Here it is.
Still wanting feedback,
THNX FOR LOOKING!!
Super_merlin
Here it is.
Still wanting feedback,
THNX FOR LOOKING!!
Super_merlin
I've noticed something. In chapter 1, I called Huron/GA 's friend Galdir, but in chapter 2, I said GWaldir. Just so you know it is Gwaldir, not Galdir. But I might use them interchangeably, like Ganondorf/Ganon.
Anyway, I've been working on 3, should be done within the month.
Anyway, I've been working on 3, should be done within the month.
Just debating whether or not to point out that there is a distinction between the use of Ganon and Ganondorf...hmm...
Yeah, there is a difference, you wanna point it out, should I or should we just let it be?
I know! Its just people use the interchangebly so often, I let it be.But for anyone, GANONDORF is the Gerudo king, while GANON is the beast.!
On another note, I got Zelda Collectors edition with The Legend of Zelda, Zelda II Adventure of Link, Ocarina of Time, AND Majora's Mask. It's awsome! Except Zelda II. Horrible!!
On another note, I got Zelda Collectors edition with The Legend of Zelda, Zelda II Adventure of Link, Ocarina of Time, AND Majora's Mask. It's awsome! Except Zelda II. Horrible!!
The Archer
Chapter 3
"What are you doing, I said"
"Well, it seems we're rescuing you, but if you'd rather us go… said the one dressed in purple."Well come on! We haven't got all day!
Gwaldir and I stepped out of the cell (if you can call it a cell. Dog house would be more appropriate) and Merlin teleported us out.
Teleporting has the strangest feeling. It seems as if you become a spirit, free to go anywhere, but then a force seems to force you a certain way.
When we rematerialized, we were in a circular room in what appeared to be a tower. There were many cloaked figures there, including a white cloaked one sitting at a high table at the end of the room.
"We have returned, Ulin", said Merlin
"Have you succeeded in the task?" asked the one I assumed to be Ulin
"Yes sir. The village has been destroyed. Nothing was there."
"Good. That’s one less place for him to hide. Now, onto other matters. Who are they?" as Ulin pointed at me and Gwaldir.
"They were hostages in the village. We found evidence of a battle, so they are likely prisoners."
Something told me I should keep my mouth shut.Gwaldir, however, had other ideas…
"OK, who in the name of the Great Huron are you!?What do you want with us?! Let us go!" shouted Gwaldir.
"And as I was saying, one seems fine. The other, obviously, is rather impatient." said Merlin
"What do you propose we do with them"asked Ulin.
"Sir, if you could allow it, I was thinking these two could join my army:
"An excellent idea,Merlin. In fact, I believe not far from here, some skellys have made a camp.Use that as a test."
Oh, great. A test.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So what if it took forever.
Hoping MR ROX! truly has returned,
Please comment,
THNX FOR LOOKIN'
Super_merlin
P.S. Thanks for the inspiration MR ROX!
Chapter 3
"What are you doing, I said"
"Well, it seems we're rescuing you, but if you'd rather us go… said the one dressed in purple."Well come on! We haven't got all day!
Gwaldir and I stepped out of the cell (if you can call it a cell. Dog house would be more appropriate) and Merlin teleported us out.
Teleporting has the strangest feeling. It seems as if you become a spirit, free to go anywhere, but then a force seems to force you a certain way.
When we rematerialized, we were in a circular room in what appeared to be a tower. There were many cloaked figures there, including a white cloaked one sitting at a high table at the end of the room.
"We have returned, Ulin", said Merlin
"Have you succeeded in the task?" asked the one I assumed to be Ulin
"Yes sir. The village has been destroyed. Nothing was there."
"Good. That’s one less place for him to hide. Now, onto other matters. Who are they?" as Ulin pointed at me and Gwaldir.
"They were hostages in the village. We found evidence of a battle, so they are likely prisoners."
Something told me I should keep my mouth shut.Gwaldir, however, had other ideas…
"OK, who in the name of the Great Huron are you!?What do you want with us?! Let us go!" shouted Gwaldir.
"And as I was saying, one seems fine. The other, obviously, is rather impatient." said Merlin
"What do you propose we do with them"asked Ulin.
"Sir, if you could allow it, I was thinking these two could join my army:
"An excellent idea,Merlin. In fact, I believe not far from here, some skellys have made a camp.Use that as a test."
Oh, great. A test.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So what if it took forever.
Hoping MR ROX! truly has returned,
Please comment,
THNX FOR LOOKIN'
Super_merlin
P.S. Thanks for the inspiration MR ROX!
Helloooooooo! Comments? Feedback?Anything?
cool
YYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
I know theres to much dialog, but I promise, the next chapter will have more action.
I know theres to much dialog, but I promise, the next chapter will have more action.
I'd just like to know: do you people ever fall to the groungd, wracked with pain form the hand cramps that you get from writing all this stuff?
XD
Occasionally.
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Rating: 5.00 in 2 votes
Status: rate
Story Page v1/Ok, this'll be fun! Ver 3